Marred Observations

Dear Everyone in the World Reviewing “Looper”

1.If you accuse the movie of having plot holes, you have to actually point them out in your review. You can’t just say “and then there were a bunch of plot holes and that made me mad.” Put your money where your mouth is and explain yourself, or else I’m just going to assume that what you think was a plot hole was really just you misunderstanding the movie.

2. Also, thinking the make up made Joseph Gordon Levitt look less attractive isn’t a reason to dislike a movie. That’s like disliking Monster because Charlize Theron looked less attractive. You’re an idiot. Stop being an idiot and give me your job, because I would love to review movies for a living and I’m smarter than you.

3. Don’t use netspeak in your reviews. People who say “LOL” are dumb. Actually this isn’t limited to reviews of Looper.

4. I can’t really think of a fourth one, but I didn’t want to end on three and I don’t really want to go to five. Four’s kind of an uncomfortable number for a list, actually, but in this case I’m trying to buck the trend. Fight the power! Lists can be any length! There are no laws!

Anyway, I really liked Looper.